Real Life Proof: Stratego Rant II


Featured Image is from (found it!)

I Have Photographic Evidence…

During the composition of my last article, I was so swamped with emotions that I had complete forgot a key element!  Due to anger, stress, and our inner five-year-olds crying, my dad put aside his Northern Hospitality as to let me document the absolute nightmare-in-a-box which Modern Stratego is (and will always be).  Under normal circumstances, he would have nudged me to  march through the pain, but again – I think his shock and frustration was 2 notches above mine.

The original rant between Original and “Modern” Stratego can be found here

Last Pictures First…

Proof!  Despite my dad’s comment on my original Stratego rant, he won fair and square.  The gloating didn’t last long as we were both confused as if it was real or if there was some new rule: preventing his win and making the game MORE FUN FOR KIDS, YEAH!


It seems the true win was that by the time the game was assembled, question, analyzed, done, and cleaned up, we had Eddie Izzard’s “Dress to Kill” to raise our spirits!  Although when he spoke of “the clever use of flags”, I couldn’t help but want to set the Modern Stratego board on fire.

Psychological Warfare: Doesn’t Work on Dad…

During the pain of peeling, sticking, and moving on to piece assembly 1,027, my dad says “HEY!  The 5 looks like you!”  I didn’t have a clever come back, but I do now:

Dad: “Woah!  Ha ha!  The #5 piece looks like you!”

Me: (what I should have said) “Wow, really Dad?  Don’t placate to me because we both know I’m easily a negative number!”

Besides, while the #5 piece did favor me at a younger age, I tried to guilt him every time he wiped this piece out.  “Oh, so kill your son, eh?  Regi-parental-famicide?”


Not even a twitch.  He remained stoic and set on winning despite the reverse universe we played in.  Good man.  He taught me well!

The Real Game: Putting Stickers on Crap…

Yeah, this is the real game summarized in the following screenshots.  A million blank pieces, two pages of stickers, sore thumbs, and the inability to read the pieces whilst questioning your age, health care plans, and last vision check.

This was just for the blue side.  Multiply by 2 and add 2 for the additional pieces that just occupy space.






I know, breath taking, right?  Ugh…

Well, Dad — at least we had Izzard.  At least we had Izzard!

— JK Benedict | @xenfomation


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